House of the Rising Madness

Now where did I leave off? It's been so long since I've shared the highlights of my daily grind that I'm not sure where I should begin.

Well, think I'll just start with what my house looks like today.

A pig-pen.

No. No. Not THAT guy.

Something akin to a sty.

Yeah, that's the one.

It's a mess. Organized chaos. But somehow we're making it work...barely...agh!

I'm working. Part-time. It's okay. It's got good points, and not-so-good.
Hubby? He's working, too. Full-time with laid off days here and there. Again, good and bad points.

At this point last year, neither one of us was working so I guess we're making progress, right? Consider ourselves lucky...but are we lucky? The jury's still out.

Ok. Moving on. What to tell you next?

Grandchildren.
↓ not the grandkids ↓
Yup, they're still living with us, and they sure do keep us hopping. From the never-empty laundry basket to the piles of dirty dishes that never seems to go away. Sometimes I feel like I've turned back the clock 25 years to when I was a young mom with 3 youngsters under foot, except I'm now contending with a very old, tired middle-aged body that has seen its better days. I get tired a lot quicker nowadays. And unfortunately, the kids are not seeing grandma at her best. Thankfully, they seem to be pretty resilient and adjusting to life pretty well under the circumstances. 
                                                                 
We try to keep them busy and offer them lots of different experiences. From their first attempt at sledding to their first snow tunnel in the backyard. School fills their days. The boys go to a local school and the girl goes to daycare (what she calls "school"). One boy is taking hockey lessons, the other is signed up for baseball (hurry up, Spring!) and the girl is in gymnastics.

Last but not least, rounding out the house of madness, is an update on our animal kingdom. Our own petting zoo.

The two felines, Meow and EV, are purr-fectly fine and miraculously getting along.

And speaking of miracles, my dog Sammi has bounced back from her mystery ailment. She still goes for regular checks to make sure all is still ok. So far so good. The other 3 canines are doing well. Notwithstanding the occasional chewed toy or knocked over trash can, they are all cohabitating peacefully. (Just wish they would pitch in and clean up all the pet hair and fur floating around here and earn their keep...geez!)

Yeah, I know this only scratches the surface. There's so much more going on - and not going on. But my addled fried brain just can't handle espousing about it in blog format. And I seriously doubt if there's anyone out there that has hours to devote to reading about my woes...For if there's one thing I've learned in my long time here on this Earth is that no one really cares about anyone else's problems. They're too busy trying to take care of their own issues. Maybe you get a "poor baby" or a "there, there", a pat on the back, a quick cyber hug. But its all just going thru the motions. If they really did care, they'd roll up their sleeves and jump in to help someone who's drowning in stress.

So suffice it to say, I'm going to leave out the sordid details. And spare you the uncomfortable discomfort of trying to figure out how to delicately extricate yourself from listening to me drone on and on about how I can't get rid of the black cloud that hovers over me 24 hours a day.

What a friend, eh? Always thinking of others. That's me.

Aren't you lucky!

So, what's new with you?

Honoring Those Who Serve - Veterans Day 2013





(Photo Credit: VA.gov)

 

It's days like these that are made for reflection. A time to stop...close the eyes...and think about all those fellow Americans who served this country, and those that are still active military, and how they protected and still strive to protect our freedoms. The freedoms we too often take for granted.

I think back to the first time I could really comprehend what it meant to be a veteran. What it meant to enlist. And the consequences of that decision. It was 1967. My mother received the call. Her nephew, my cousin, had been killed in Vietnam. She was heartbroken. But she didn't let her grief show. Instead she chose to let her support and love of the men and women serving in America's military shine.

Four years later, we said a tearful goodbye to my brother who graduated high school and immediately enlisted in the Marine Corps. We followed every news story, every headline...yearned for phone calls from my brother...waiting for the announcement that the war was over. I feared that he would face the same outcome as our cousin. I had nightmares. Fortunately, my brother never saw combat. However, he did go on to serve 30 years and retired from the military as the highest ranking enlisted Marine.

My Music - He Will Be Dave Davies

The infamous little green amp that put the rock in rock 'n roll and wonderfully changed the genre forever.

Photo Credit-Russ Fletcher (russhifi.blogspot.com)

 

David Russell Gordon Davies. Guitar virtuoso. Gifted songwriter. Founding member of the British invasion and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame quartet, the Kinks. And creator of that searing, crunchy distorted guitar chord heard round-the-world and in almost every rock song since the mid-60's.
                                                                                                 Photo Credit-Klaus Hiltscher

All the rock guitarists (and struggling wanna-be's) out there owe a lot to this pioneer. For if it wasn't for his frustration at not getting the sound he heard in his head out of that little amp that fateful day way back in the age of aquarius, where would music be? Would there be punk? Heavy metal? Dave Davies' latest retrospective homage to that music and life altering incident is included on his latest work of art, "I Will Be Me".

My Empty Nest Has Filled Up Again

I Really Should Have Listened to Oprah

I used to love watching the Oprah show. Every afternoon. I'd rush home from work, snap on the little color tv in the kitchen while whipping dinner together for the kids. Just in time. For an hour of power. A time of wisdom and clarity amid the hustle bustle of being a working mom.

Oprah had a way with words. A turn of phrase. And one of her favorite sayings has become one of mine:

WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE...BELIEVE THEM.

 

Usually when some deep, meaningful kernel like this drips from Oprah's lips I am totally onboard. As she says, a true "Aha Moment". And I try to bear it in mind in all facets of my life.

 

But recently I realized that I had failed. I neglected to keep the above wise words front and center in my brain. And it came back to bite me in my wide backside.

 

Someone close to me had been showing me for a while who they were and I did not believe them. Instead I projected what and who I wanted them to be onto them. Clouding my eyes. And my perception of them.

 

Now they have shown me who they really are and my eyes have been opened. Wide.
 

Why am I surprised? Hadn't I seen the signs? They'd been there all along.

 

No. I wanted to believe. That's how I roll. I always want to believe that there's inherent good in the hearts of everyone. So I wanted to believe they were honest, kind and loving. That even though we came from different worlds, different generations I accepted them. Warts and all. We didn't always agree on music, books, movies, fashion, whatever, But I thought for sure we were on the same page when it came to family. Love. Trust. Loyalty. I thought we were friends.

 

I pushed aside my suspicions. And that was wrong.
 

I don't think I'll ever understand the choices people make. But I truly do understand even more the wise words from my tv mentor, Oprah:

 

WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE...BELIEVE THEM.

 

 



Let The Madness Begin - Or How to Keep Grandma Sane

Youngest son has arrived. Belongings in a U-Haul trailer.

With a wife. Three kids. Two dogs. One cat.

 

Ay-yi-yi.

Can you just see it?

Yup. Chaos.

At least for a little bit. I'm sure we'll get into a rhythm. A schedule, of sorts. An even keel. Hmmm...too optimistic?

So youngest son has completed his time in the Air Force. And we are so proud of him for serving his country so admirably.

We are also proud of the man, husband and daddy he has become.

He's home now, under my roof, in the home he grew up in, plotting out his next career move. And where he'll be setting down roots for his family.

In the meantime, his father and I have laid out the welcome mat and offered them refuge until they find their new home.

But...it IS a tight fit. My house is not what you'd call a mansion. Far from it. Matter of fact, much to hubby's chagrin, it was once described as a quaint cozy cottage. Somehow, we've managed to squeeze in 5 extra people and 3 extra pets in this tiny abode.

Luckily the warm weather is here. The great outdoors beckons us. Which makes the backyard the perfect place for the kids and pets to spend a lot of their time. And its this time of the year when there are many things going on - b-b-q's, backyard family gatherings, festivals, beach-days, picnics at the park. Events to keep everyone busy and out of the house.

The point is, we all have to stay active, organized and out of each other's way.

I already have something in mind for my own sanity and, as a by-product, my health - THE GYM. I joined last week. Better late than never, eh? ☺ It'll give me solitude time. And as a result, should help me to lose weight, tone up and de-stress my mind a bit. Keep me from becoming Grandma the Ogre. Not a bad idea, right?

 

Photo Credit - Maximus_W (Flickr)

 

Don't get me wrong - I love spending time with my family. I'm very excited to have my adorable grandkids around and look forward to seeing their smiling faces and hearing their giggles every day. (Full disclosure: the whines, the cries, the tantrums...not so much. They are a package deal after all.)

 

So bear with me. I may not be able to post as much. And when I do, they may be a bit incoherent and disjointed. Be gentle.

 

If you have any suggestions to help this Little House in the City run smoothly, or have been in my shoes, please share!

Okay. Got to get back to the craziness that is my life and home right now. Wish us luck!

Rabbit Rabbit! Heralding the Arrival of June

So...I have this super girlfriend. On the first of each month she says "Rabbit Rabbit". And it must be said before you speak any other words. I think its a good luck thing. I had never heard of this tradition before. I've tried it. Hasn't garnered any luck for me at all. Maybe it only works for my friend? She is pretty lucky. Think I'll have to find some kind of good luck charm for me... rabbit's foot? lady bug? bamboo? Nope, tried them all. Nada. Nil. Zilch.

Oh well.

Ok. Here we are. The beginning of June.

Rabbit Rabbit.

On the job front:  Hubby is working. He's not crazy about his job but he's gotten a few other offers so he's keeping his options open.

As for me:  Nada. Nil. Zilch. Not for lack of trying. I'm still sending out a gazillion (or so it seems) applications and resumes. Had one interview that I thought went well, but apparently didn't as no job offer was forthcoming.

However....I'm beginning to wonder if the non-job status is fate stepping in. You see, my youngest son is leaving the military. This week. He and his wife and 3 children are heading north to regroup. And they'll now be stationed at my house. Yup, you heard that right. My little tiny cramped 50's ranch. With the postage stamp sized yard. Oh boy.

We've been going crazy trying to rearrange the place to accommodate 5 more people, 3 of which are under the age of 10, and 2 more dogs. Child proofing. Dog proofing. Making room. Emptying closets and bureaus. Installing a girl's sleigh bed (thank you to a very generous friend!) and multi-colored bunk beds for the boys (found at a bargain price on Craig's list). Setting up a second guest room in our finished basement (which meant closing up shop on our home gym downstairs-but I figure I'll get a workout just keeping up with the grandkids and dogs). Reconfiguring all the rooms of the house and the backyard.

Lists have become our new best friends. We check off each item as we move along at a rapid fire pace to get things in order prior to the big day. This weekend was the final preparations: yard sales to pick up some good used toys for the kids, yardwork and installation of new doors. All that's left is to fill up the cupboards and fridge with food for the homeless troops about to appear at our doorstep.

Actually, the renovations and changes we've made since we received this proclamation from young son have us thinking this might just work out okay...if only on a temporary basis. And with me not working, I can be here to oversee our new housemates and enjoy time with the grandchildren who I adore. My mood is always lifted when I'm with them. They're fun, and funny. They're sweet, and loving. Never a dull moment. And its summer and there's so much we can do that I couldn't do otherwise if I was bogged down with a job. The zoo. Parks. Museums. Festivals and fairs. The beach. Fishing (um, that one they can do with grandpa...just sayin'). Blowing bubbles. Taking care of grandma's butterfly garden. Working in grandpa's vegetable garden. Walking the dogs. Visiting family. Backyard b-b-q's. Or just laying on a blanket in the backyard and watching the clouds roll by. And at night, the constellations.

So many fun things!

And maybe, just maybe...it's fate's way of filling my soul just when I need it most.

Or is it luck?  Rabbit...Rabbit........

If It's May, It Must Be Time For An Update.....

May. Such a special month. It ushers in images of flowers and feelings of warmth. Winter is a just a lonely cold figure in the rear-view mirror. Sunny days and beach outings are up ahead, around the bend.

Normally, it's a time when my mood is lifted. Life is good.

Normally.

But things aren't so normal anymore.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow - Boston Marathon 2013

SPEECHLESS. NUMB. SHOCK.

A myriad of emotions tore through my brain. Searing pain ripped through my heart.
"No!" screamed quietly round and round in my mind.

I couldn't pull my gaze from the horror unfolding before me on the tv screen.

"This can't be happening!"

I clasped my hands in prayer. I lifted my eyes to the heavens.

"Dear God please tell me this is a dream. Not another terrorist attack. Dear God, no."

Terrorism. Evil. Hatred. Why?

There are no answers. There are no words to explain these senseless, cowardly acts.

Yesterday...the world witnessed an unfathomable tragedy.
Today...tell your family you love them, hold them tight.
You never know...there may not be a tomorrow.

 

April 15, 2013

2:50p.m.

Florida - Redux

Welcome back...I'm glad to see you. I just KNEW you'd be curious to come back to read the second part of my latest travel adventure.

And here it is............................

We left our oldest son behind and hit the road to the panhandle to visit our youngest and his wife and children.

Have you ever had the pleasure of being greeted after a long absence by little children? It's heartwarming, overwhelming and simply...grand! We got the best reception - lots of hugs and kisses all around.

The following days were fun but relaxing. Perfect combo. It was school vacation week - our son took a few days off so we could have plenty of time together. There were a few occasions to celebrate too - our son's and granddaughter's 3rd birthday, and Easter!

It didn't take long for the fun to begin:

On the Road Again - Exploring Florida

Can't help myself. Traveling is in my DNA.

Last week found me on the road again. This time Hubby and I made our way to Florida. Again. (I know. I know. I just went there a few months ago...but come on. This was for family - my boys - my grandkids. They need me!)

 

But the way we were looking at it, hopefully we'll both have jobs real soon. And with that comes the looong waiting period before we'll be able to vaca again. So we decided we better get some rambling done before we get tied back down. (Also didn't want to lose any points we've built up from previous trips.)

Our trip got off to a bizarre start...

Adventures on the West Coast

There's no place like home. No truer words were ever spoken.

I'm home after an awesome week in California. The best part? It didn't seem to fly by like most of my vacations. It felt like it hit just the right note.
(Don't you just love it when that happens?☺)
We were busy, yet relaxed. We did a lot of fun stuff but also found time to just chill.

California Dreamin'.......

♪♫ All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey ♪♫

I've been for a walk, on a winters day

I'd be safe and warm, if I was in L.A.

♪♫ California dreamin'.....on such a winter's day ♪♫

I was. California dreamin', that is. Been thinking about flying out to the west coast for a long time. My brother, his wife and their his/her kids live out there, in the Los Angeles area. I love visiting with them. And it's been way too long since I have found the time (and funds) to make the trek out west.

Hubby knew how much I longed to see my west coast family. And how much I needed to take a break from my discouraging job search. So a few weeks ago he proposed that we should grab this opportunity to go. Thanks to unemployment, we have the time. We have points built up from lots of traveling, enough to cover the cost of 2 airline tickets. I, of course, agreed that he had come up with a great plan!! (Ain't he the best?!)

Flash forward:  We're here!! Cal-i-for-ni-A !!

We left New England right before a massive icy cold snow storm. (How convenient, eh? Ha!) Buh bye, old man winter....helllloooo sunshine! and warmth!

Gosh, we needed this. Time away from the daily fruitless job search drudgery. I'm really hoping the change of scenery will give us (at least me, anyway; hubby is a lot more upbeat and optimistic than I) a better frame of mind. Who knows? Maybe I'll find something here. I've wanted to live near my brother. There's just something about this part of the country that has always called to me. Again...is this an opportunity...or is it fate?

We're having a great time. Consignment shops. Girl talk with my awesome sis-in-law. Hubby played fireman with my super-hero brother. Dined at the local cowgirl cafe. Enjoyed great company. Introduced ourselves to the local wildlife. And taken lots of pictures of the beautiful scenery. Today we have plans for more shopping, movies and family time. And we're gearing up for even more fun activities over the next few days....I'm loving it!

Stay tuned for more updates..............

The Tale of the Princess and the Louboutin

Boys 3. Girls 0.

I have 3 wonderful sons. No daughters. I've been asked if I wished I'd ever had a girl. "Nope," I say. "I grew up with 5 sisters and I don't need that kind of drama in my house." I welcomed boys. It was kind of new territory for me. (I have 2 brothers but they're 10 years older than me so there wasn't too much interaction.)

 

With boys there's always an adventure. They're little tornados. There's a magnet on my fridge that perfectly describes them:  "A boy is a noise with dirt on it". Little bundles of energy churning up the dust wherever they go. My boys kept me on the move. And I loved it!

However...confession...there were a few times I secretly wondered what life would have been like if I had a daughter. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so outnumbered around the house. Maybe I would have had a shopping partner to share my love of designer fashion. I thought if I ever had a granddaughter I'd get to find out.

16830360 Minutes

♥♥♥

11,688 days

280,506 hours

16,830,360 minutes

32 years

Yesterday was my 32nd wedding anniversary. Yikes! How'd that happen? Where'd the time go? Seems like only yesterday I donned an inexpensive mall prom gown and sauntered down the aisle of my childhood church towards a handsome smiling young man attired in the uniform of a U.S. Navy seaman.

In this time of high divorce rates, hubby and I appear to be bucking the trend. After all this time, we're still married. First and only marriage for both of us.  Even I have a hard time believing we've been married this long (never mind the few years we were together before we tied the knot).

My Day - Spending Time with Mom

Usually I blog about a topic and try to incorporate a story and/or info into it. Today is different. No big topic. No profound info to impart on all of you. Just wanted to share.

My mom turned 81 last month. When it comes to gifts for my mom, I keep my ears peeled for clues as to what she may be wanting. Something she desires but hadn't gotten for herself or something she had wanted to do but hadn't. This past year she's mentioned problems with her hair a few times. Don't know why she hasn't made regular visits to a hair salon a part of her normal routine. Sometimes I think she may believe that because of her age it's not important or high on her list of priorities. Maybe living on such a small fixed income has kept her from spending money on herself for things she thinks are frivolous. I don't know.

But I decided it was high time she got her hair to a salon and get it whipped into shape. Her hair has turned a soft white and has grown past her shoulders. She doesn't seem comfortable with the color or the length. I can relate. I think all us women can. We know what styles work on us and when we aren't able to maintain the look, it can make us feel way off our game.

I gave her a card last month with a homemade gift certificate that bestowed a color and cut to the birthday girl. She laughed when she saw it and thanked me. I told her to let me know when and where she wanted to go. Since I'm not working I have plenty of time on my hands.

Well, a month has passed and not a word from her about the gift. So I told her we weren't waiting any longer; I'd make the appointment and decide where and when we were going. She had no choice but to go along for the ride which came for her this morning when I went to pick her up. And there she sat, coat on, purse in hand. Anxiously waiting for me. She showed me a picture she cut out of a magazine. The style she wants.

So we headed to the salon. We went to a place neither of us had been before (I did some checking and found good reviews). I could tell she was a bit nervous so I helped her voice what she wanted to the stylist. She showed my mom a hair color swatch and asked her if it matched the color she had in mind. When I saw my mom nod emphatically, I felt my confidence in the stylist rise and knew this appointment was going to work! As the afternoon wore on, I could feel my mom relaxing and the smile I caught here and there reassured me she was very happy with how the visit was proceeding. As we all made small talk, I took pictures. My mom chatted easily with the young stylist who I think was having as much fun as we were.

When the cutting started, I could feel my mom tense again. And I could relate. Young or old. Haven't we all been in that moment? When we hand over the power in the scissors to a hairdresser who we hope will duplicate the style we've found in a picture?

But as the stylist continued her cutting and snipping, my mom's hair was slowly drying. A beautiful warm honey color was emerging. And I knew the young girl had nailed the first part. And I knew my mom would love the color. So now I waited with bated breath for the style to be complete.

And there it was. Finis! And...beautiful! I watched the smile spread across my mom's face. It was what she had envisioned. And I could relate. I know that feeling. The feeling you get when the stylist says "Ok, all done" and you open your eyes, gaze in the mirror...and a new look stares back at you. Is it what you wanted? Is it the right look for you? Did you make the right choices, in color? in cut? Did the stylist get it right? And when your face stares back at you and smiles, it's such a sense of relief!

I could feel my mother's spirit lift. She eyed herself in the mirror. She ran her fingers through her hair. She primped and fluffed it a bit. She struck a pose for my camera. As we said goodbye to our stylist (who I think is about to become my mother's new go-to hairdresser), and headed out to my car, I could tell she walked a bit taller. She couldn't wait to get home and show off her new look to my dad. To have him look at her with a new appreciation. And I could relate. Can't you? Haven't you left the hair salon and was excited to show off your new self to hubby, boyfriend or girlfriends? It's a proud moment for sure. When you KNOW you look good and as a result FEEL good.

That was my day. With my mother. Sharing a simple common activity but one that as women we are on common ground. It makes my happy to know that today I made my mom feel beautiful. And made some great memories.

 

 

 

My Backyard - Yankee Candle Village Shop

Are you a candle person? Do you search for just the right scent to please your senses or set a mood in your home? Do you mix and match or change them up depending on the season or holiday?

Ok, I admit. That's not me. Don't get me wrong. I DO like to use scented oils and warmers to enfuse a calming, feel-good warmth throughout my home. But when I think Yankee Candle, I think wax and wicks and flames and decorative holders to retain it all. It wasn't a store I normally would find myself in, unless I was looking to buy a gift for someone else,

All that changed recently, last Halloween, when my sisters invited me to accompany them to a local Yankee Candle store. While they oohed and ahhed over the latest in the "Boney Bunch" line of items, I perused the shelves and aisles and found much more than candles. I left the store with a bag full of goodies for myself and gifts for my daughter-in-law.

That got me thinking. I had heard about a very large Yankee Candle store. A Village Shop actually. In Deerfield, MA. Not too far from me. Maybe it was time for a visit. To find out what all the talk I'd heard for years about the place was all about.

Two months later, right before Christmas, I called my sisters with my idea. Let's plan a sister outing with our mother to the Village Shop. All agreed, a short time later, we set off on the two hour ride on a cold December weekday. We chatted and laughed like families do which made the hours seem like mere minutes.

Top 10 Destinations of 2012

OMG! Pinch me! Can I really be here? No..no...it can't really be happening...can it? Woo-hoo!!!!!

Photo Credit - Cliff1066 (Flickr)

Yes, that was me. A blubbering, stammering idiot stumbling through the doors of the biggest mall in the United States. I truly needed to catch my breath as I stood before that behomoth of shopping centers. The big kahuna of retail. The promised land for shop-a-holics. The Mall of America. Finally!  The Mall has been on my bucket list for a while now and in 2012 I finally entered the welcoming automatic doors of that midwest retail mecca.

I also was blessed to be able to visit some other great places in 2012. And as I look forward to 2013 and begin making plans on where I want to go in the new year, I thought I'd take one final look back at where I've been.

TOP 10 DESTINATIONS OF 2012

10.   Boston, MA ("Freedom Trail", "Faneuil Hall/Quincy Market")

9.     Hampton Beach, NH ("Hampton Beach Casino/Ballroom")

8.     Hartford, CT ("Mark Twain House", "Bushnell Park")

7.     Newport, RI ("The Breakers", "Marble House")

6.   Concord, MA ("Louisa May Alcott Home")  

5.     Raleigh/Goldsboro, NC  (Son and his family) 

4.   Fort Walton Beach/Destin, FL (Son and his family's new home, "Harborwalk Village")

3.     Kissimmee/Orlando, FL (Son's new home, "Nickelodeon Studios/Resort", "Universal Studios")

2.     Atlanta, GA ("Aquarium", "Zoo")

1.     Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN ("Mall of America", "Twin Cities Marathon")

I've got pad and pen ready to make up my itinerary for 2013. So many places to go, so many things to see. And of course, I need to leave room for those spontaneous adventures, too. You just never know when the opportunity will arise to take a detour off the list.

How about you? What are your plans for 2013? Do you have your passport ready? I do! Who knows where I'll end up next? Maybe I'll see you there! 

                          

All Good Things Must Come to an End - And That Includes Vacation

I'm home. Back in my own old lumpy but comfy familiar bed. Surrounded by my forgiving dogs and kitty. They've gotten over their irritation with us for being gone so long. We're all back to normal, whatever that may be.

In a previous post I mentioned how our vaca was in 2 parts: first we visited oldest son in the Orlando area and then we visited youngest son and his family in the FL panhandle. We were relieved to see that the grandchildren were very happy to see us! Of course, not unexpectedly, the first words out of their mouths was something along the lines of "What you got for us in your luggage?" After all, our 4 year old grandson thinks hubby is "Papa Claus".

My Oldest Son

My goal for the month is to post daily. I'm not thinking that will be too hard since I've been enjoying the writing so far since I started this blog.

But now I'm away from home visiting family so my mind and priorities have shifted focus.

I'm lying in my hotel room unable to sleep. It's 4 a.m.

Hubby and number one son are asleep. Wish I could too. I'm a worrier. And right now I'm worried about my son. He's 34. Shouldn't I stop worrying? Does it ever stop?

I try. I do. But what I really want to do is pack up his things and bring him back home with me. Where I can love him. Protect him. And be with him more frequently than just the few times of the year I can visit him here.

I ask him if he's happy. He always says yes. I ask him if everything is ok. He always says yes.

Deep inside, I'm not sure I believe him. Mother's intuition?

Life hasn't been easy for him. Did he move away from home to truly be independent or did I push him away? Is he just saying he's happy and okay out of pride or to keep me from worrying?

Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mother for not keeping him closer where I can be there to support him. To help him.

I have 2 more days with him. Then I must leave. I know I'll be a mess for a while. Feeling like I'm abandoning him. Feeling like I'm not quite sure if he's okay or not.

Does the mothering worry ever end?